“The Poet Speaks with His Beloved on the Telephone”
Your voice watered the dune of my breast
in the sweet wooden booth.
Toward the south of my feet it was spring
and to the north of my brow, flower of fern.
In the narrow space a pine tree of light
sang with no music of dawn, no seed bed,
and my cry caught for the first time
crowns of hope around the roof.
Sweet and distant voice poured out for me.
Sweet and distant voice I tasted.
Distant and sweet swooning voice.
Distant as a dark wounded doe.
Sweet as a sob in the falling snow.
Distant and sweet lodged within the marrow!
Federico del Sagrado Corazón de Jesús García Lorca was a poet at the turn of the century. My lover described him as death obsessed, and she was so good as to send me a few poems after a lovely conversation. I love the poem above. It hits exactly the tone I feel about her when she calls me.
It is profoundly difficult to acknowledge that you’re the one with feelings. Especially if the other partner is someone who is good at armoring theirs. But I’m thinking that’s all right. Almost every relationship has asymmetrical elements. Even if it doesn’t work out, I’m still learning lessons.
Negotiation is the big buzzword. The foundation of any real relationship is ability to negotiate principals and create rules that suit both partners and respect their boundaries. Sometimes some people can’t seem to negotiate for a large variety of reasons. When you begin to negotiate, it’s automatically a kind of vulnerability. Perhaps thats why so many people never even really try it.
And thems feelings are sneaky bastards: you never can guess when they are going to show up. A crush isn’t such a bad thing to feel, but it’s super critical to channel all that energy in a really responsible way. It’s hard to see exactly how to do that, especially if the negotiation isn’t there yet.