I supposed I’d be fired already. But no, this isn’t a post about how misogynistic, racist, backwards, and stuck in the 1950’s my current employer is. It’s about this video:
Which is reasonably true.
As bisexual man, I seem to get targeted a lot for all kinds of discrimination. It makes it really hard to explain because I got married first, before I came out. I suppose that happens for a lot of people. When I’m at a gay bar, men don’t talk to me because of the wedding band. Yeah, cause that’s a terrible sign. When I’m anywhere else, they think I should be at a gay bar.
Sigh. Well, this is me folks. When I was trying to be more like you, everyone treated me with the suspicion that I was actually more like the person I am now that I’ve more or less stopped hiding. And this way, I at least get to be sorta kinda honest with myself right? Go watch the vid. It’s funny.
This is a beautiful picture.
it’s one of those things.
you know like when you have a major life event, like buying a house?
or maybe it’s like taking a mars mission.
you know what it’s going to be like intellectually, and you figure, you should prepare yourself for the mental stresses.
but you can’t.
you don’t really know.
i believe it
so you just sorta hack it.
and live in harmony as best you can.
and try not to forget that you’re a human being too in the midst of the madness.
you should write that down.
you could put it on greeting cards or print it up poster size
and people would buy the shit out of it.
so it’s really hard to be polyamorous and a parent. It really is. You could just take the word polyamorous out of that sentence. It’s easy to sacrifice your own wants and needs on the all consuming alter of parenthood because you are ultimately responsible for your children’s well being. It’s easy to think that the only good parent is the one who is completely dedicated.
But the parent without his or her own soul is the parent who hurt their children, and becomes bitter.
Not only that, but the time and everything tend to work out pretty well. It’s also a wonderful thing when you know you can rely on more than just one other adult to help you with your kids.
So here’s the deal boys and girls, sex-positive theory is super simple: sex is a potentially positive force in our lives. That one concept causes a cascade of consequences. It changes assumptions. It frees people.
There’s a tremendous amount of sex-negativity. People generally find sex to be disruptive, difficult, potentially dangerous. A lot of people come to the conclusion that sex has to be controlled so that it won’t be so damaging. Christianity, and other religions tend to push the concept that morality and sexuality are essentially mutually exclusive. That makes it even harder for people to see the positive power of sexuality in their lives.
Sex positivity is “an attitude towards human sexuality that regards all consensual sexual activities as fundamentally healthy and pleasurable, and encourages sexual pleasure and experimentation.” In other words, once you start thinking that sex could actually be pretty awesome, then you start to think that maybe many different kinds of sex could possibly be awesome. It’s not real far from that point, that maybe sex is nice, and pleasure is good, to real paradigm shift towards people who identify themselves with certain groups sexually speaking. Basically, if you think that sex is positive, it’s real hard to be a fucking homophobe. You know why? Because those fags, they’re enjoying themselves. They’re doing something positive, see? Cause they’re having sex, right, and sex… well, it’s good.
See? Not that hard. Try it yourself tonight. What if sex doesn’t hurt you in the end? What would that mean in your life? What kind of changes would you have to make if you really believed that?
This is a pretty good wikipedia article about sex-positivity. The history part is pretty interesting.
Your family is awesome!
Let me break that title down a little bit. There’s lots of homophobia in the world. (For clarity’s sake, I’m defining homosexual here to only include men, for the simple reason that there is a distinct difference in American culture between male-male homophobia, and female-female homophobia.)
Homophobia is a complex fear, with several layers, several contributing factors. First off, and most generally, there’s the fear of other, kinda like a xenophobia situation: the hate is as simple as “they’re not my tribe”. Then there’s moral fear, wherein the homophobe thinks something along the lines of ‘the purpose of sex is reproduction. therefore, homosexuals are morally perverse.” (I’m not saying it’s this clear at all. There are many branches and variants of this thought, and most of the time it’s not exactly put in words, more like a tone in the brain.) Then there’s the fear of one’s own feelings and desires. The homophobe recognizes at best there’s not a lot of clarity of what they do not desire. The evidence of history seems to indicate that people are not born closed to new experiences, and if all of these sex polls are right, then many men have actually experimented with homosexual activity of some variety. But let me cut to the chase here. Most of this stuff remains implicit. But when this kind of mind-numbing, unenlightened, self-loathing, horse shit gets expressed, it gets nasty quickly.
Usually there’s a lot of psychological force behind homophobic expression for a variety of easy to understand reasons. It is very tempting for the target of those expressions to think that the homophobe who is moved to express their fears is so moved because they are actually part of the LGBT community, and are in the closet, or in denial. That’s probably right maybe say, 20% of the time if we’re all being generous.
Not all the reasons people rant about teh gheys are because they are in fact, interested in the dick. It just ain’t the case. It’s likely that more people are not closed to the experience than say so, and it’s possible that the pressures in our society to forcefully deny homosexuality cause people to go the extra mile to do so. But it’s as likely that the majority of folks out there really aren’t gay. It’s not that they aren’t correctly sex-indentifying themselves. It may be more like the reasons for homophobia are so nuanced that there’s bound to be a lot of psychological force behind expression. Think about it in terms of a metaphor. There’s lots of steams and creeks flowing into Homophobic Lake. When the dam bursts, theys gonna be some floodin’ going on. Just because the force of the leak is strong doesn’t indicate something about the nature of the lake itself.
Which is good to remember when the hot guy at work cracks gay jokes all the time. 😦
Click the link to credit the artist!
You’ve got to know what you want.
The best smell in the entire world is post-shower, pre-ant-perspirant sex.
I try to order my daily pattern to facilitate that smell. Not really, but in my ideal world, it would happen more frequently. Be
cause you’ve got to find what you want, and then go get it, right?
Anywho, while I really love the smell of a clean human body, my armpits smell pretty fantastic with whatever new deodorant/antiperspirent I got. The key is that it does not remind me of a middle school dance in any way. Most deodorant manufacturers seem to believe the only way is overkill.