That kind of love.

Posts tagged ‘Vulnerability’

The hard part is the risk

Risky Love

This Japanese woman attempted suicide after being jilted by the would be groom. Love is risky.

I’ve heard people say that if you’re not keenly aware of the risk, you are striving hard enough for your happiness. That’s one of the odd things about my path, living polyamorously. The closer I get to the path of living my life the way it ought to be lived, the more aware I am of the dangers. It’s not easy to be responsible. It’s even harder to trust your constellation mates. But you must do both things to make it work, to not fall off the path.

I want to be happy, and I want to minimize the risk.

Yet, I read things about what people regret, like this link about top five things people say they regret on their deathbeds, and it makes me a little proud of myself. I will not say anything like any of those things when my time comes because I really am being myself, and I am living my life to the absolute fullest.

It’s good to remember that when it gets hard, and the risks seem to loom like dark trees over this path, that the reason I’m walking it in the first place is because it is the path of practical love in my life.


Fresh new vulnerability

Stupid AlpacaIt is profoundly difficult to acknowledge that you’re the one with feelings. Especially if the other partner is someone who is good at armoring theirs. But I’m thinking that’s all right. Almost every relationship has asymmetrical elements. Even if it doesn’t work out, I’m still learning lessons.

Negotiation is the big buzzword. The foundation of any real relationship is ability to negotiate principals and create rules that suit both partners and respect their boundaries. Sometimes some people can’t seem to negotiate for a large variety of reasons. When you begin to negotiate, it’s automatically a kind of vulnerability. Perhaps thats why so many people never even really try it.

And thems feelings are sneaky bastards: you never can guess when they are going to show up. A crush isn’t such a bad thing to feel, but it’s super critical to channel all that energy in a really responsible way. It’s hard to see exactly how to do that, especially if the negotiation isn’t there yet.